Change

San Miguel has forever changed me.  It's sort of like the elephant in the room, neither Alex or I want to talk about me leaving.  I guess it is kismet that we crossed paths in life.  I didn't expect to stay this long in Mexico.  I didn't expect a lot of things. When you pack your bags for a trip like this, you don't realize the other stuff that you carry with you also.  I'm talking about spirituality, love, memories, regrets, insecurities, hopes, fears and dreams.  If you let it happen, you will come home with so much more.  You will have a different attitude towards your spirituality, love, memories, regrets, insecurities, hopes, fears and dreams.

El Turista

How appropriate that the one and only movie I see after four months in Mexico is 'The Tourist'?  The film was cast with beautiful people and language.  And there was this song, this song that played during one scene, I just loved it and made it my mission to find it.  I finally found 'No Fear of Heights' by Katie Melua.  The lyrics are that of a love song, but remind me that we must love ourselves before we can love another.

I never walked near the edge
Used to fear falling
I never swam far from shore
Never tried the secret door

But when you give me love
When you give me love

I have no fear of heights,
No fear of the deep blue sea,
Although it could drown me,
I know it could drown me

I didn't wander in the woods
Used to fear the darkness
I didn't like getting deep
I was scared of what I couldn't keep

But when you give me love
When you give me love

I have no fear of heights,
No fear of the deep blue sea,
Although it could drown me,
I know it could drown me

No fear of the fall
No fear if it's with you that I fall
'cause nothing could break us,
No, nothing could break us, now

Katie Melua - No Fear Of Heights

Putting it all Together

I am winding down my time here in Mexico.  Much like the sentences that I am trying to form with my new language, I am trying to put together the nouns, verbs and adjectives of life to remember how I have spent my time here and how it has changed me.  Most importantly, how I will live going forward.  A Mexican manifesto of sorts.

My manifesto would read something like this...
I make this promise to myself and ask those around me to hold me accountable.  I will lead a simpler life free from over consumerism and over stimulation.  I will live within my means, buy second hand and take the handmade pledge.  For my body and mind, I will practice yoga and meditate.  For my soul, I will surround myself with positive people.  I will read more and write, write, write.  For sheer pleasure I will wear cowboy boots with a dress.  I will learn to speak Spanish and then French...I will travel to Europe and Costa Rica.  I will stay on the beach in a shack in Mexico.  I will devote myself to learning new things.  I will nurture my creativity.  I will ride my Vespa and feel the wind on my face without worrying about my hair...

Patina

I love the patina of Mexico.  The layers tell a story that has evolved over time.  Not only in the literal sense of buildings and doors, but it also extends to the people.  There is a depth in the faces of the elders.  Lines on the face of the rancher wearing his favorite broken in cowboy hat.  Signs of wear on the bag the older woman carries with her to the market, it has seen better days. 

People greet each other on the street.  They make the mark of the cross when they see their Lady of Guadalupe.  Nuns' habits float in the wind.  This is a spiritual place.  It has been a good place for me to evaluate what is important to me.  It is my hope that when I return to the States, I find a soft place to land.  I will be traveling again soon, but at this time I need to take this momentum that San Miguel has so graciously given me and to thine own self be true.

Pancakes

As I stood over the pan on the stove, waiting to flip my pancake, I realized that everyday in Mexico is a 'pancake day'.  Like starting your day with pancakes for breakfast, everything moves a little slower here.  It's amazing what happens to your soul when you take time to breathe.  Pour on lots of syrup and taste the sweetness of life.  Drink up the fresh squeezed orange juice and realize what purity is, without all the unnecessary stuff of life.  I often wonder if people are happy and what makes them happy.  I really have come to believe that most stuff is just stuff, food is meant to nourish us, not to entertain us and even when most of us think that we don't have enough, there is always someone who has less.  There is always a reason to sing in Mexico, and usually an occasion to drink tequila.  People don't stay in their houses, they leave their doors open and mingle on the street.  Children rarely fuss and parents rarely scold.  Food is about as fresh as you can possibly get it.  The waiters bring the check only after you ask for it, so as not to rush you.  Birds and fireworks wake you up, not alarm clocks.  Imagine a world where we lived to truly experience life...